7 replies to this topic

[Mike G]

WHY MEN ARE SELDOM DEPRESSED
One mood all the time.
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
They know stuff about tanks.
A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase.
They can open all their own jars.
They get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite them, he or she can still be your friend.
Their underwear is £2.99 for a three-pack.
Two pairs of shoes are more than enough.
They almost never have strap problems in public.
They are unable to see creases in their clothes.
Everything on their face stays its original colour.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.
They only have to shave your face and neck.
They can play with toys all their life.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons.
They can wear shorts no matter how their legs look.
They can do their nails with a pocket knife.
They have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache.
They can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives On December 24 in 25 minutes!!


Men Are Just Happier People, too!

NICKNAMES ? If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Nobby and Tosser.


EATING OUT� When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in a tenner, even though it's only for £25. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY� A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS� A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS� A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE� A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE� A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP� A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL� Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING� Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.



THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:


A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humour and who can handle it....and to the men who will enjoy

[Andrea B.]

This is hilarious! Loved it!!

[Rags]

[Shac]

[the_traveler]

Sent this to a bunch of people.

[hillsidekim]

[Fons Baerken]

posted them on fb

[Delvin]

Thanks for a smile on my wife's birthday.